The Seed

Within us all, there is something strange and mysterious.  Something that lies dormant for most of our lives, watching us go through the paces of modern-day life as we negate our control and choices to external factors.  It watches us as we morph from free-spirited souls into autonomous biological machines controlled by society and fueled by fear.  It’s nestled so deep underneath the garbage we collect in our minds throughout life that when the time finally comes for it to shed its skin and bloom like a seed into a flower, it can’t reach far enough out of the junk to feel the heat of the sun, so it recedes and stays there, buried.

Then, for a lucky few, it happens; the event that shakes loose the crust that keeps all aspects of life stable and unchanged; the way it has been for so long is no longer.  For some, they believe they’ve planned enough; some believe that they are prepared for all the changes this will bring; and for others, it just happens, unplanned but still welcomed with joy. The birth of their first child.

The pillars of your life are rocked;  If you’re lucky, they don’t shatter under the immense pressure that comes with caring for this brand new miracle that has come into your life.  A crying, pooping, feeding miracle. Ten fingers and ten toes, this small being so helpless and yet so mighty. The toughest marathon of your life has just begun. First, you go days without sleep, then the days turn into weeks, and you’re hoping this will pass soon. You’re so tired, but you soon realize nothing’s changing anytime soon. You do your best to care for this beautiful baby; you try your best to put aside the sleep deprivation and the hunger. Even though it hurts so much, your breasts are swollen, and your nipples are cracked, you put your beautiful child to the breast and let her feed; your pain does not matter because you know that you are the source of life for this wonderful being. You haven’t washed your hair in three days, and you’re an absolute mess, but you look down at this beautiful face and none of that matters.

Everything that you have built in your life up until this point comes into question; all your choices and everything you were always most certain of. There is no more certainty, no stability, you are living in an earthquake. Every second, a tsunami of emotions is hitting your shore, bashing away at everything you are, everything you believe, you question your every thought your every decision.  You start sifting through this proverbial pile of garbage that has collected in your mind, and this is where the magic happens;  You uncover this seed of magic that was buried beneath all the useless things in your mind, those things that you gave so much power to.

This mystical and magical seed has been there your whole life, but you’ve never had reason enough to listen to its whispers or to give it much thought because you’ve been so preoccupied with following the beaten path and finding your place in modern society.  Now, productivity is no longer your number one priority, your number one priority has become your child, and you know deep within your heart that you will do anything and everything to give this child a better life.  You want to give this child the best life, a life that you could never have imagined for yourself.

I believe this is the reason why so many single mothers find success; it is because they know that they are the fountain of life for their child and they are the one thing that can empower their child to become more than a simple productivity machine for society’s profit. Single mothers have a drive that not many others do because of the pressure they are put under.  Single mothers have the drive to craft a future for their children because they know what it’s like to struggle, they know pain, and they most definitely know loneliness. 

So, to all the single mothers out there, this is my piece of motivation to you.  You might be in a dark place as you are reading this now, and if that is the case, I hope this will awaken the seed inside your soul.  You are going to achieve great things in your life, and as much as you will be doing it to prepare a better life for your children, you will also be doing it for yourself.  Remember that there is nothing on this earth that can break you if you stand strong in the wake of these challenges and work each day to nurture that special mamma magic inside of you!

Love,

Angelique

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